My wife casually mentioned to me this morning that she was really nervous about her first day on the job tomorrow. She is a Special Education teacher and will be starting in a new school district this Monday. I think we all can relate to her reservations and worries. I can even recall the first day of elementary or middle school being a nervous day wrought with apprehension and uncertainties. Starting a new job is probably no less challenging: The unseen variables, new people, each with their own egos and agendas; thoughts about whether or not we are a good fit for the job. The build up to the big day can be a lot of weight on someone’s mind. I supposed there is a innate level of fear attached to the quality of the experience. Maybe a fear of the unknown? Anyway, it got me thinking…Fear is a form of suffering and is in fact probably the most debilitating. Primal fear is a basic survival instinct that initiates a “Fight or Flight” response. This specific stimulus occurs from pain or a threat of danger. Fear is the ability to recognize a threat or danger and react instinctively to find safety. Yet, in our sometimes chaotic lives, the concept of fear was been watered down, muddled with ego and mentally misinterpeted.
Psychologists have noted that fear belongs to a smaller set of basic instinctual emotions which also includes anger, sadness and even joy. Fear is sometimes grouped or connected to the emotional state of anxiety. Yet, anxiety is different and typically occurs without any external threat. Coupled with our ego and a low level of self-esteem, fear and anxiety is a disability.
Sure there are things in life to be fearful of: Hungry bears while on a hike, shark frenzies while swimming or an avalanche careening toward your vacation chalet. These would be situations of “Fight or Flight” and as humans we have the instincts to fight our way to safety or run like hell to safety. Yet, in our sometimes crazy life, there are fears of losing our jobs, fear of loneliness, fear of starting our own business – the common denominator to some degree would be the fear of failure. It is this response that is not instinctual. The concept of “Fight and Flight” is part of our nature. Societal fears like the dread of failure are based on a conditioned or a nurtured sense. Through conditioning and ego, from the approval or disapproval of others, there can be a level of anxiety or abrasiveness that is created and it can eat at you from the inside out.
Studies show stress is a major factor for high blood pressure and other health ailments like heart attacks and emotional instability and depression. The prescription drug Xanax (or the generic form Alprazolam) is one of the most prescribed drugs in America. Guess what it is used for? Anxiety. Conditioned fear and anxiety go hand in hand. Remember that our True Nature is the stars we can see on a clear night. The clouds that come and go are our egos, control patterns, anger, fear and anxiety – all of which causes suffering. If you can slowly come to an understanding that our True Nature represents the stars which are unchanging, then you will understand that the clouds that sometimes obscure them are temporary. Stress, anger and other suffering are always transitory. Much like a storm: it may be a violent and turbulent tempest, but we have faith in knowing that it will eventually pass and the sun will again shine. Try to turn toward, conflict, anger and depression with the faith that it is temporary and that life will get better. Eventually you may even see that emotions like anger and jealousy are really not necessary.
“Those who fear life are already three parts dead”.
-Bertrand Russell
We have to recognize that our suffering and negativity is not intrinsic to our existence. It is projected upon us by others and we sabotage ourselves with our varying levels of ego and control patterns. Many of these unnecessary emotions are just smoke and mirrors. It may seem hopeless at times but there is optimism. We need to connect to that clear sky analogy as there is a part of us, deep down, that is constant and pure. As you will learn in later blogs, space gives rise to well being. Feeling free of stress and anxiety is a form of space. When we feel stress or even anger, there is this closed off feeling within the mind; our psyche feels hemmed in when anxiety and suffering takes hold. Panic attacks are a good example of a lack of space in the mind. Conversely, have you ever gone on vacation and felt open and alive? Have you felt relaxed and spacious? There lies the difference: Our True Nature is a spacious vision that we all can connect with. Once you have the space in your mind, you will have the ability to better handle the stresses of life. With space, you will learn to have more tolerance for the challenges that surround us.
Sure it is easy to write this all down in a blog and push the “PUBLISH” button, but to live by our words is much more powerful. Actions do speak louder than typed words. I do not think anyone is free from stress and anxiety completely and we all get butterflies in our stomach when we head into unchartered territory. This is a completely natural feeling. Still, it is how you interpret the stress or challenges and how you act that truly defines the experience. Most social or workplace scenarios are dependent on how you react to stress and unseen occurrences. Further, I truly think feeling nervous about something is a good thing. It means we are alive and aware. More than that, it means we are pushing ourselves to be better and more evolved. Being nervous is a good sign that things are progressing in your life and you are pushing yourself to the next level.
Take a deep breath and remember such stresses and uncertainties are merely clouds floating by and your True Nature is the steadfast sky that is unfettered, unadulterated and indestructible. Everything will be fine, feeling nervous is good! Now go make a difference!
John C. Bader
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